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How to convince your mother to like your girlfriend or fiancé

In our current African society, it’s important that your parents bless your union with the person you love. Nowadays, parents are a little more weary of the people their children call soulmates. Unlike a few years ago, there’s a conflict of generations. Back in the day young people and older people believed in the same ideologies. Hence it was easy for a girl to be accepted into her boyfriend’s family. 

Today it’s quite difficult to convince your parents that your girlfriend, who has heavy layers of makeup and rings on every opening of her body. is a good woman. Or maybe most of her bodily components are artificial and she believes that washing dishes is the work of a ‘mboch’. Convincing your parents to like her can be a monumental task.

As a man, your girlfriend, fiancé, or wife must get along well with your mother. Fathers don’t care much. A father will be satisfied by the mere fact that you were man enough to introduce your girl to him. Whether the girl is good or bad is your problem. Fathers don’t give a damn. At least he knows his lineage will continue. Mothers are different. They are not impressed by just a mere visit. They insist on knowing the girl and studying her. They have a craving for lurid detail. So how can you convince your doubting mum that your girl is the best even if she’s not? Here are a few crucial ways. 

Tell your mum how your girl has changed or you 

You must show your mum how the girl in question has been instrumental to the progress in your life. You can tell her about some of the times you were about to make bad judgments and your girl intervened. Tell her how focused and positive you have been ever since you found your dream woman. Remember that you have been your mum’s little boy for years and she needs to be sure that you are in safe hands. She wants you to be with someone who will take care of you and bar you from losing direction. 

Show your mum that her opinion won’t change anything 

You can also go the tough way. Mums can be very controlling if you allow them to be. Show your mum that you love your girlfriend and you aren’t ready to leave her. With this in mind, your mother won’t push too much since she’ll be afraid that her dissatisfaction might affect the mother-son relationship that has been ever-present. There are a good number of men who have chosen their girlfriends over their mothers. Any sane mother today wouldn’t want that to happen to her so she’ll tread carefully. 

Lie to your mum about things that she can’t confirm 

Yes I said lie to your mum. Do this if you know that your girlfriend is unlikely to pass the test in front of your mum. You might love a woman so much but later on realize that she has many qualities that your mother wouldn’t like. What do you do then? You employ a theory called, ‘misdirection of a crucial case’. This is the use of lies to achieve a greater good. Lie about things that your mum can’t easily confirm. Don’t say that she can cook yet she is always close to burning the kitchen every time she steps into the heat room. Lie about private things that shall portray your girl in a good light. 

Find empathy 

Often, when your mum doesn’t like your girlfriend or fiancé, there’s an underlying issue. Try finding out if there is something deeper that your mum is concerned about. This can only be achieved through honest conversations. Maybe your mum is worried that you are so into your partner and that she might take over her ‘motherly’ role in your life. Or that your girlfriend’s religious or family views may make you different from the way you were brought up. Your mum did put a lot of hard work into your upbringing. She wouldn’t want to see you change in an instant. If you can identify the underlying issue, you can solve the problem by involving both parties.


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