At 48 years old, I was separated from my husband of seventeen years, struggling to raise my teenage daughter, and working full time. We had moved to another town to get away, so I was commuting to work every day, and feeling frazzled, tired and lonely. One day I stopped at Canadian Tire after work to pick up a padlock for the storage locker at our condo. My hair was a mess, my makeup was rubbed off and I was still in my rumpled scrubs. I paid for the lock and walked out of the store.
As I walked across the parking lot toward my car, I noticed a man walking toward me. I never paid much attention, until we were almost face to face. I looked at him and he blurted out, “I just want to tell you that you are so beautiful!” Then his eyes got big, and he slapped his hand over his mouth. I looked behind me to see who he was talking to, but no one else was nearby.
When I looked back at him he was blushing. He stuck out his hand and said, “Hi, I’m Randy.” And gave me a big smile. The whole situation was so weird, and I was so caught off guard, that I shook his hand and told him my name. We ended up standing in that Canadian Tire parking lot for the next half hour chatting. He told me he was working in southern Alberta, but was planning to move back to the area, and that he had grown up about an hour and a half away, in a small tourist town. I told him I was living in another town nearby, but working in the city we were in. After a bit more conversation, he said “I notice you’re not wearing a wedding ring.” So I told him that I was separated and in the process of getting a divorce. We talked some more, then he said, “Joanne, I’d really like to see you again, maybe take you out for dinner, but I know this whole situation is a little bit strange, so I’m not going to ask you for your phone number.”
I was surprised to realize that I felt a bit disappointed. Then he smiled and said, “But I will give you my email address. Then, if you decide you’d like to see me again, you can email me, and we can take it from there.” So I got out my phone and put his name and email address in my contacts. We said goodbye, and I went to my car, and he went into the store.
When I got into my car, I sat for a minute, and asked myself if that had really just happened. I looked at myself in the rear view mirror, and shook my head. I looked pretty worn out and messy. I started the car, and drove the thirty minutes home. As I walked into the condo and greeted my daughter, I put the encounter with the guy in the back of my mind. We got through the rest of the week, and on Friday night, I took her to spend the weekend with her dad. I got home an hour later, had a bite to eat and cleaned my house.
Saturday morning came with the rumble of thunder. A friend and I had planned to go kayaking that day, but we put it off until the following weekend. So suddenly I had a rainy day to kill and no plans. I scrolled through my phone and found Randy’s email address. I wasn’t sure how to start an email conversation with him, but I remembered how easy he had been to talk to, and how he really didn’t seem like a serial killer, and hey, I like food, and he wanted to buy me supper, so I sent him an email.
He replied late that afternoon, and we emailed back and forth for a couple of days. After that we exchanged phone numbers and talked. And talked and talked. Soon we were finishing each other’s sentences. He was still working in southern Alberta, but was taking a weekend off soon. One Thursday night, we talked until 3am. I knew I was falling for this guy. I hardly even remembered what he looked like, but I knew he was kind, and funny, and honest and moral. The kind of guy my ex husband was not. I finally got off the phone, and slept for three hours before I had to get up for work. I was tired, but happy at work the next day. I couldn’t help smiling to myself.
At lunchtime, I walked out to my car. The lot my car was in was pretty full, but I noticed a red truck parked there which I hadn’t seen before. As I got closer to my car, Randy got out of the truck. He walked over to me and gave me a big hug. I was completely shocked! He had driven 6 hours to come see me, and must have left not long after we had hung up the phone. Again, I was super tired that day, from staying up all night talking to him on the phone, but he must have been even more tired. We spent my lunch break talking, and made plans to go out for dinner the next night.
Dinner was great, and we never seemed to run out of conversation. The next day we played golf in the rain, and we had so much fun. He tried to come to visit me every weekend he could, and when he wrapped up his work, he moved to a condo on the ski hill so he could be close to me. He’d come over for coffee with me in the early morning before I had to leave for work. He’d stay over on the weekends. He met my daughter, who disliked him on sight, because he wasn’t ‘dad’. It didn’t take long for her to admit that she although she really wanted to hate him, she couldn’t, because he was so nice.
We have been together now for three years. In that time I don’t think we’ve even had an argument. He encourages me, supports me, cares for me, and makes me feel beautiful and loved. If I have any regret, it’s just that we didn’t meet 25 years earlier. But I am very very thankful for the time we have together now. My family and friends love him, and so do I. With him, I can just be me. He has built up my crushed self esteem, calmed me when I freak out, celebrated my triumphs, and tells me every day how much he loves me.
P.S. One night, soon after we had exchanged phone numbers, I was talking with him on the phone. I asked him if he often approached women in parking lots, and if that had ever worked out for him before me. He laughed, and said that had NEVER happened before, and he had not planned to say anything to me when he saw me. In fact, he hadn’t realized his mouth had said anything until his ears heard it! He said he was really embarrassed that he had blurted out that he thought I was beautiful, but decided to go with it. I’m really glad he did!
