So you two have gone on a few dates and you’ve warmed up to each other. In the course of these dates, you’ve learned that she’s an only child. Perhaps you’re an only child too, so in that case, this article isn’t for you. This article is for guys who aren’t only children but are dating and in love with a woman who has no siblings. This concept may be foreign to you or perhaps you’re even a little envious. All that attention from mom and dad, a whole bedroom to yourself, and zero fights over who uses the bathroom first in the morning. Must be the best thing since sliced bread!
Being an only child in the western world is sometimes seen as taboo in a way. When people have children, their friends and co-workers always badger the couple to try for another, because child number one ‘must be lonely and in need of a companion’.
To some couples who may only want one child due to any number of things (like finances, lifestyle, careers, that’s what they’re used to, they’ve had family trauma, health issues, or they just don’t want to burden the earth too much), they feel frustrated when other people feel the need to dictate the number of kids they ‘should’ have.
Ever since the 1800s, western society viewed only children as eccentric and lacking in social skills (this could be further from the truth as studies indicate). Only children are just as social as children with siblings, if not more. Moreover, other myths included are that they were considered spoiled and self-absorbed. There can be a grain of truth to this, as the brains of only children are different to those with siblings. Structurally, they are more flexible thinkers, but it comes at a price, as they are less agreeable than people with siblings.
However, not every ‘only’ is the same. Being an ‘only’ is one factor in a range of things that influence who an individual is. Sex, race, socio-economic status, religion, geography, sexuality, and ability are some of these factors. Without further ado, here are a few reasons only children women are worth dating (and loving):
- Responsible (almost to a fault, so encourage them to let go a little)
- They’re sensitive (they didn’t have siblings to toughen them up)
- They need alone time (they’re used to having their own space, so respect that)
- They’re usually cerebral, attaining higher education compared to those with siblings (so don’t be afraid to show her you’ve got a head full of facts and show her you understand how the world works)
- Independent (in some cases, she might have been raised in a single-parent household and had to become mature and learned to do things for herself; also see *no 1, as they coincide)
- She likes mature men, men with direction and purpose (not guys who are in for a good time or have no clue what they want)
- She’s motivated to build the life she wants (yes, this is because her parents invested so much in her, but also because she herself wants the best for herself)
- She’s ambitious (see *no. 8) so don’t expect her to put her life on hold for you, or change her dream to match yours
- She’s imaginative and enjoys fiction of any sort whether it’s on stage, on paper, or on-screen (she may have had imaginary friends or fantasies as a kid and there may still be remnants of them in mind as an adult)
- She can be a tad perfectionistic, especially if her parent(s) were the types to value achievement/success over progress
- She may enjoy spending time with your large family (or not; it depends on her experiences. If she has negative experiences with her immediate/extended family, she may avoid wanting to remind herself of what she didn’t have)
- In most cases, she’s close to her parents (or not, see *no. 11)
- She can be a little controlling, wanting things her way, but when you have no siblings and your parent(s) cater to you a lot, that’s to be expected. In these situations, you could teach her patience.
- She loves animals (they were the best stand-in siblings ever because they couldn’t call you names or lock you in the bathroom, but they did steal your food, chewed up your library book, and woke you up with big, wet kisses Saturday mornings).