I was 13 years old when I was planning to go home and commit suicide. and this time I promised myself it was gonna work. it had to. that day at school was one of the worst days I had gone through. I failed three tests, lost all of my friends because “I was bringing them down”, and I had a fight with my parents that morning.
what really got me was the friends thing. I told them about my mental health struggles, and instead of supporting me and being there for me, they stopped being my friends altogether.
Quick sidetrack: I know how it sounds but I don’t believe you HAVE to put up with someone who’s mentally ill (especially if they’re threatening to harm others or themselves if you leave) but I do believe that you should try to support them. anyways back to the story.
I was walking outside in the direction of my house when this one boy who I had barely talked to ever stopped me. I tried to keep walking but he adamantly grabbed my shoulder. I stopped and looked at him. I expected berating comments as he was friends with the girls who ditched me, but instead, I was met with a gentle voice and soft eyes.
“hey. you know that none of this is your fault right? you’re okay. we can talk if you want.”
I didn’t wanna talk, but I’ll tell you what. I didn’t try to kill myself that day. because of his random kindness and understanding, I felt that someone thinks that I deserve a place in the world. so here I am now. he’s still my friend and he’s probably forgotten about that, but I don’t think I ever will. thanks, buddy.
