Isabella Kituri had only been married for one year when she lost her husband to colon cancer in 2005.
She and her husband had been blessed with a child, who was three months old at the time of his death.
And following the loss, Isabella Kituri descended into mourning and denial that lasted close to one decade.
“I mourned for eight years between 2005 and 2013. It was a shock, like a never-ending nightmare. I had been married for just one year,” Isabella disclosed to The Nairobian before adding that a talk with her pastor helped her move on. He told her that “It’s not fair to you or him. He would wish for your happiness, not misery.”
And that is when she removed her wedding band and had a meeting with herself.
“I had a meeting with myself. I had to stop behaving as if the world owed me for the loss and pain I suffered. I began to train myself to see the world as a stage of opportunities. I stopped feeling that people around me should give me their shoulder. Instead, I started sharing my experience, empowering others in similar situations. I became more useful to the universe. I called myself ‘Blessed Bella’ as a mantra to remind me I can be happy again,” Isabella added.
Though she can feel the void left by her husband who passed on three months after their son was born, she has reinforced her resolve to provide him with the best parenting her scope allows. The challenge of learning how to parent while mourning the loss of her husband pained to the spine.
Every moment, each day, she feels the desire to spend time with him, but she has to feed her son, pay bills, take care of herself, and, therefore, has to efficaciously juggle her roles. She creates a day every week where they spend time together.
“My son and I are good friends, we reason a lot together and when we are having our time, I encourage him to pursue his dreams no matter how silly they sound,” says Isabella.
She envisages him being independent, confident and aggressive, for life is not for the faint-hearted.
