I have been at home with the exceptions of two brief outings since March 10 and as a result of this experience, I have found three things that I have learned about myself.
I am a rather introspective and reflective person on a normal basis. I have experienced the abnormal of having an abundant amount of time to ponder, reflect, and sit still which has given me three key lessons learned.
They are, as always with me, three in number and alliterative.
I have learned the deeper value and meaning of finding Comfort in my life with sitting in one place for an extended period of time, for allowing myself to Cry no matter for sadness or joy, and for embracing the ways to Cleanse my life of the things that are no longer supportive.
I made a conscious decision in 2000 to leave my comfort zone and to continue to stay out of it, to the best of abilities. Life has a way of seducing us into a sense of security and certainty when both are not nearly as concrete as we would make them out to be.
I have taken on jobs that were outside of my comfort zone only to gain some new skills and experiences that would have otherwise not been available. I have taken adventures in traveling to some amazing places on my own and with loved ones. My comfort zone is constantly evolving and transforming and feels some days like a hologram.
During my time at home safeguarding myself and my family from the Coronavirus, I have learned that even in the comfort of my home, I can keep moving out of my comfier zone. Little things like rearranging art on the walls or moving furniture into new places, interrupts the automatic responses my mind has to my surroundings.
I feel emotions deeply and quite often cry over things that others do not even feel. I am the one who watches movies and needs a box of tissues when it triggers a memory. I am grateful for my capacity to feel my emotions, it was not always that way for me.
I have experienced a lot of emotions while in isolation at home, and I am grateful for the space to express them. I have cried over two many things to list. The sadness of seeing so many people die from the disease is devastating, while the hope of seeing so many people come together to make sure families have food and provisions is heartwarming.
I am glad that I stopped listening to the voice in my head, my dad’s voice, which told me that men don’t dry or we don’t show emotions in public. I am living with my own values on emotions and how I express them, and I could not feel any more joy!!!
I have attempted my fair share of cleanses in the past, some with some came with some horrendous experiences. I get that there are ways to cleanse our bodies, souls, and minds. For me, it is all about cleaning out and getting rid of what does not work anymore.
My cleanses during this time at home have focused on my soul and mind. I have done a tremendous amount of work on de-cluttering my mind from those values and scripts that no longer serve me. Out with old and outdated, and in with the hip and relevant!!! My soul has been cleansed by the spiritual work that I have done to bring me closer to my understanding of God.
For me, this time at home has been a gift that I have not only received graciously but also put to good use.
I am certain that the day will come when I look back on the spring of 2020 and reflect on my gifts of being Comforted outside of my Comfort Zone, Crying tears of sadness and joy for the life experiences I had and witnessed, and for the capacity to Cleanse the things out of my life that are no longer useful or relevant.
I invite you to reflect and ponder on your Covid-19 experience and find what is most meaningful for you.