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Kanze Dena: I have attempted suicide three times

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BY NDUNGU NYORO

HELLEN KANZE DENA is a true definition of an overcomer. Hers is a story of deep pain hidden by smile and success.

Her testimony in 2015 at JCC is mouthful.
Struggled with self esteem issues from childhood. Most of it related with family challenges.

Having cleared secondary school she got a job as a waitress. She also got a boyfriend whom she thought understood her challenging past.

Looking for love, she got pregnant. And everyone including her boyfriend walked out on her. She felt she had become a disappointment to her single mum.

Afraid of going back home to tell her relatives she had gotten pregnant, Hellen worked with an organization, went through counseling and got to sign forms to have her child adopted. And she wanted to do it in total secrecy.

But the plan didn’t work. During delivery, one of her friends tipped Hellen’s mother. She was shocked to find her mum at Pumwani Hospital soon after a successful delivery.

A young mother and a college student at the same time, she had to balance the roles. A caring Mama Kanze decided to take grand daughter Natasha with her to upcountry to allow Kanze focus on school work and final secretarial exams.

Sadly, three months after she was born, Natasha passed on. This got Hellen into depression that lasted more than one year.
She attempted suicide. Tried suffocating herself using a polythene bag but it didn’t work.

Months later she joined KBC as an intern gradually moving into TV as a news anchor.
She thought all was well until she got pregnant for the second time. This time she was in church and an active member. She started isolating herself again. She was all alone.

At three months of pregnancy she had a threat of miscarriage. The pain of receiving news of miscarriage led to her dropping out of campus. She discovered at seven months that the miscarriage never happened.

Within the same month her mother was diagnosed with advanced Colon cancer. She slipped into a coma for some time.

Two months after delivering her second baby, she attempted suicide – this time with a knife. She was a depressed mother.

Just after she slit her wrist, she heard her baby crying. Mama Kanze whom she was staying with rushed the crying baby to the mother. Upon enquiring where the blood came from, Kanze explained that it was an accident. She hid the knife under the bed.
She would later join Royal Media from KBC.

With her ailing mum relatives were always at her place. So she was never alone and that perhaps made it difficult to execute her plan.

Just after her son turned one year old, Kanze lost her mother. She succumbed to cancer complications.

Alone in her world she felt she was a failure to her son. She wasn’t a good mother to him.

In 2013, she attempted suicide for the third time. She was in Mombasa on a retreat and thought it would be ideal to end her life in the ocean. God saved her.

Despite her long journey of low self-esteem, Hellen has been moving from one glory to another.

Today she is the deputy spokesperson at the highest office in the land – Statehouse.
You too, your day is coming. Keep fighting.

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