The first date of my life was also the clumsiest.
In high school, I was friends with this guy for months. We used to chat during the breaks and, despite our age difference, we got along well. More importantly, we used to game together.
Everything changed when he invited me to go to the movies with him. I can’t lie — I had some suspicions back then. But since we were friends, I thought it’d be too cocky of me to assume that he was romantically interested in me.
Besides, there was nothing wrong with two friends going to the movies, right?
So there I went to my first date, unsure whether it was actually a date or not (but secretly hoping it wasn’t). We bought the tickets and popcorn. The movie started and everything was going smoothly. Towards the end, he made an extremely clumsy attempt to put his arms around my shoulders. Words cannot express how awkward that moment was. I felt extremely thankful for the darkness of the room. I could tell that we were both blushing, and not in a good way.
The awkwardness was almost tangible in the air around us. He quickly drew his arm back. I couldn’t believe how naive I was.
Once the movie ended, we said an uncomfortable goodbye and went our separate ways. And that’s how our friendship ended.
Here’s what I learned from that clumsy date with my ex-friend:
Become More Self-Confident
I realized that the reason why I accepted going is that deep down I didn’t think it was a date. In my teenage years, I struggled with my self-esteem.
I was never the popular girl. On the contrary, I think it’s safe to say I was the nerdy type of girl — I liked to have good grades in school, I was a gamer, I didn’t care too much about fashion, and I was shy.
After all, it was the first time a guy had ever asked me out.
But that date made me understand that I didn’t have to be popular to be confident. And some guys would be interested in me just the way I was.
This newly found confidence has changed multiple aspects of my life. I built the courage to join the drama club, which led me to make awesome friends and perform on stage. I opened myself to new opportunities, like participating in a chess competition at my school.
And, of course, it improved my love life tremendously — I started dating more and now I have an awesome boyfriend.
Be More Perceptive Of Others’ Feelings
Another lesson that I took from that date is to be more perceptive.
Chances are that, before that date, my friend has already demonstrated that he was interested in me. There were probably multiple signs of that. And I missed all of them.
I started noticing subtle signs of people who are genuinely interested.
They reply fast. They always make time for you. They may be a bit shy around you — or may look you in the eye. They remember what you said. They ask about you.
These signs are quite hard to grasp. They are small hints and require some interpretation. And yet, knowing this could have helped me on that date — or to escape from it.
I was never again so terribly wrong when it comes to someone else’s feelings.
And now I became a good advisor for my single friends. Whenever they are unsure whether their date in on the same page as them or not, I try to look for the sings. So I can give them proper advice.
Always Have an Open Communication
In the end, the date was such a disaster because we didn’t communicate properly.
If he had told me it was a date, maybe I could’ve made a better decision. If I had thought of asking him, I would’ve been more informed. And things would’ve turned out differently.
This is super obvious, and yet so hard to do.
I find that most conflicts I had in my relationships were due to the lack of communication. There are many reasons for this: people assume things, are afraid to speak their minds or don’t understand what they feel.
From that date on, at the slightest sight of conflict, I always reach out for a conversation.
Yes, this means I have plenty of uncomfortable moments. But it saves me from worse situations in the long term.
It also means that everyone is on the same page. This way, nobody has wrong expectations from others — and less people get hurt. With me, the rules of the game are clear for dating, coworkers, friendships, and family.
In the end, I find that open communication saves me from a fair amount of trouble in my relationships
That date was a disaster — I lost a friend and broke his heart. But bad dates are part of life. Overall, that night contributed to make me a better person — and a better girlfriend now. It made me more experienced, a better listener, and more confident. It was a bad date, but I’m glad it happened.