Reading James Clear’s Atomic Habits made me an advocate for easy and methodical ways of approaching change.
It was interesting to realize that change doesn’t have to be drastic or instantaneous; it could just be a step-by-step process until the desired action becomes a habit.
I didn’t always have this positive attitude to change, in fact, I still held on to a painfully bad habit even after reading the book. Social media was my Achilles heel; I was constantly getting over-stimulated by the overwhelming amount of information I consumed hourly.
I expected it would contribute some value to my life, but instead, it took value out of it: time and mental space I would never get back. I couldn’t fathom changing this habit; I had been stuck with it for years. I eventually discovered a way to make it manageable: to keep my notifications muted all day. But this was not enough. I needed to break out of this pattern.
I sought knowledge on the topic of change — why it’s hard to do it as well as practical steps to getting it done. Here are lessons learned along the way.
Why We Resist Change
1. Change provides uncertainty. We let go of our sense of safety when we decide to change our behavioral patterns for something not clear to us.
“People will often remain mired in misery than to head toward an unknown” – Rosabeth Kanter, Harvard Business Review.
2. Change can hurt. We may see change as a threat, especially when it hurts us or a loved one.
You might want to leave behind a habit, but doing so would sever the relationship you have with someone you love so you put the other person first.
“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” — Eckhart Tolle
3. Change is hard work. We have a wrong perception that change is an action we undertake now or never.
It is a string of consistent conscious effort, like a string of beads where each bead represents a day, and the string gets longer as you fill it with beads. Change is a process that may last for days, months, or years.
“Behavioral change is rarely a discrete or single event; however, we tend to view it that way. More often than not, behavioral change occurs gradually, over time”- Katherine Schreiber, Psychology Today.
Resistance to change is often a result of lacking clarity in what change is and how it could be done effectively.
Four Practical Ways to Combat This Resistance:
1. Make It Clear
”Mystification is simple; clarity is the hardest thing of all.“-Julian Barnes
It’s easy to say you want to be a better person for yourself and the society at large, but this declaration won’t get you far.
The first step to change is choosing one area of your life you need to work on and clearly defining what actions you have to take.
It could be “I want to be a better person by being honest whenever I’m tempted to lie” or “I want to be a healthier person by swapping my afternoon soda with water”.
With time, the effects of these actions compound. They are, more often than not, greater than the effort expended to make that small change.
In this article, “The Power of Clarity in Goal-Setting”, Cynthia Jones provides a clear how-to guide on setting effective goals with clarity.
- Goals should have a yes or no quality to them.
- Write down your intentions to enable a higher level of thinking and a more focused brain.
Having clarity helps you attain growth one step at a time.
2. Make It Convenient
“When the situation changes, the behavior changes”- Chip and Dan Heath.
Leo Babauta, in his article about creating a habit environment, listed some of the ways an enabling environment could be created for a new habit to be formed:
- Hang out with people who are doing what you do.
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Get rid of junk food or cigarette in your home and office.
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Block websites that distract you if you’re trying to procrastinate less
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Read blogs and books that inspire you to do the habit.
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Have a habit partner you report to each day, and make a vow never to miss.
Remember to be flexible with the changes, and not take it too far so as not to abandon the habit altogether.
If the environment doesn’t help, create another. Keep creating until you find the right fit.
3. Make It Necessary
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”-C.S. Lewis
I came across this point while reading Switch by Chip and Dan Heath. John Kotter, a Harvard Business School Professor, and a change expert observed that the sequence of change is not ANALYZE-THINK-CHANGE, but rather SEE-FEEL-CHANGE.
SEE-FEEL-CHANGE occurs when you’re presented with evidence that makes you feel something that impacts your emotions heavily. The result is that you may feel greatly disturbed as you reflect on your current habits and where they’re likely to lead you in the foreseeable future.
Here are x prompts to make this effective:
What are the real personal consequences of this habit?
In what ways would these consequences affect my loved ones and me?
How would this new habit impact me and the people around me?
What are the resources and skills I need to facilitate this change?
4. Make It Happen
“Inches Make A Champion”- Vince Lombardi
Now that you’re set on changing, you want to make it happen by starting small. The task of changing habits doesn’t have to be daunting if we set small, achievable goals.
Mark Twain rightly let us into a secret of his when he said: “The secret to getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming task into small, manageable tasks and then starting on the first one”.
Making it happen does not require a massive amount of willpower and motivation. You don’t need to give it your all at the beginning; do something incredibly easy today and increase your efforts a little day by day.