There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. — George Sand
Everyone wants to live a happy life. And when in a relationship, everyone wants to have a happy life with their special person. We want to build trust and honesty, be there for one another, able to talk about the good and the bad, and love each other unconditionally.
The road to a happy and successful relationship is sometimes not an easy one. This is why we find that people are always looking for better ways to interact with others, understand themselves, and achieve that wholehearted acceptance by their significant other.
A few years ago, on their 40th anniversary, my father looked at my mother and said, “This, the relationship we have and the love we still feel for each other, this is my most prized accomplishment.”
My father’s words will always remain with me. They were beautifully romantic, but more importantly, they were wonderfully true. Healthy and happy relationships are accomplishments. They take commitment and work, and two people who are willing to meet in the middle and put in the necessary effort.
If you’re in a relationship, intimate or platonic, and you want to ensure it is the happiest it can be, this is for you. Alternatively, if you are in a relationship that could use a little help, these simple things to always remember for a happy relationship might come in handy.
1. Communicate openly and honestly
Communication in relationships, at its core, is about connecting and using your verbal, written, and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs. It’s not about making small talk.
It’s about understanding your partner’s point of view, offering support and letting your partner know you are their number 1 fan.
Find someone who still knows how to talk to you when they are angry.
In the past when I was angry and did not dare to confront my partner, I relieved that by talking about them to another person. A good rule of thumb when it comes to this method of coping is if you can’t say it to their face, you shouldn’t say it behind their back.
Also, learn to use your words with your partner. Communicate openly and honestly as much as possible. If you don’t know, ask. If you don’t agree, say so. If you don’t like it, speak up. Communicate.
2. Heal yourself through forgiveness
For a happy relationship, you need to learn to forgive your partner and to let go of old wounds. Every moment of your life you are either growing or dying.
The art of maintaining happiness in your life and relationships relies on the fine balancing act of holding on and letting go.
Yes, sometimes people you trust will hurt you. Being hurt is something you can’t avoid, but being continuously miserable is a choice. Forgiveness is the remedy.
You have to let go of what’s behind you before you can grasp the goodness in front of you.
3. Be honest and own up to your mistakes
Honesty. This is a fundamental building block of a loving and trusting relationship. An honest heart is the beginning of everything right with this world.
We all make mistakes. For a happy relationship, it is important to own up to your mistakes when you make them.
The most honorable people of all are not those who never make mistakes, but those who admit to them when they do, and then go on and do their best to right the wrongs they’ve made.
Be honest with the people who love you. They deserve your honesty.
When you apologize, do not do it for the sake of avoiding an argument. Apologize in earnest and mean it.
4. Do things that make YOU happy
If you want to awaken happiness in a relationship, start by living a life that makes you happy and then radiate your happiness into your relationship.
If you want to eliminate suffering in a relationship, start by eliminating the dark and negative parts of yourself, and then radiate your positivity into your relationship.
Will Smith said, “Her happiness is not my responsibility. She should be happy and I should be happy individually. Then we come together and share our happiness. Giving someone a responsibility to make you happy when you can’t do it for yourself is selfish.”
Truly, the greatest power you have in this world is the power of your self-transformation. All the positive change you seek in any relationship starts with the one in the mirror. Give your partner the space to make their own decisions.
5. Forgive your own and each other’s pasts
Forgive and forget. Easier said than done but it is fundamental in helping you develop a strong and happy relationship.
By forgiving your past, you’re going to make your relationship very strong because the triggers that once hurt you can’t worry you anymore. Whenever you think about history, you’ll smile because you’ve forgiven it.
Also, do not judge your partner on your own past. Never act, judge, or treat your partner like you know them better than they know themselves.
According to psychology, we all react differently even in the same situation depending on the environments and influences we have been exposed to in the past.
Something might be good for one person but may not be good for another. It might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better, overall. What might work for another relationship might not work for you.
Allow your partner to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.
6. Show kindness to your partner in little ways every day
No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.
— Aesop
I read Aesop’s fables often when I was a child and I still love this quote for its truth.
Always be kinder than necessary. You never know what someone is going through. Sometimes you have to be kind to someone, not because they are being nice, but because you are.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
For a happy relationship, you should always remember to be kind. In a world where you can be anything, choose to be kind.
7. Be there for one another
Listen to your partner.
Say less when less means more. It takes some courage to stand up and speak; it takes even more courage to open your mind and listen.
Pay attention and be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble. Your partner often needs a listening ear more than they need a rambling voice. And they will be there to provide a listening ear when you need it, too.
And don’t listen with the intent to reply; hear what is being said with the intent to understand. You are as beautiful as the love you give, and you are as wise as the silence you leave behind.
8. Leave the past behind
In any relationship, the only person you can control is yourself. By being open to achieving the love that we say we want and creating a happy relationship, we empower ourselves to change 100 percent of our half of the dynamic.
Do not turn the talk about how wonderful your ex was or all the adventures you had, and where you dined, and what you liked about each other, etc, into a daily conversation. If they were so awesome, you would still be with them.
Do not drudge up mistakes from the past. Especially concerning matters that have already been resolved. Holding onto the past only hurts you. It is in your power to decide who you want to be in your relationship and to act by that.
9. Allow your love and trust to overpower your fear
When you hold back, you lose. The only relationship that is impossible is the one you refuse to give a chance.
Love means allowing someone to hurt you but trusting them not to. Without this trust, a relationship cannot survive. You cannot just believe what you fear from others; you have to believe in the good faith of others.
If you are ever going to have someone trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too. That is an important aspect of a happy and successful relationship.
Also, have the courage to say what you need at any given moment. Most people are not mind-readers. Two things will happen; you will either get what you need or realize that your partner cannot deliver. Both are blessings.
10. Love and accept your partner, unconditionally
To define unconditional love is to say that a person loves someone unselfishly, that he or she cares about the happiness of the other person and will do anything to help that person feel happiness without expecting anything in return.
Unconditional acceptance is something we want, but rarely ever give out. Remember, people never do anything that is out of character. They may do things that go against your expectations, but what people do reveals exactly who they are.
Never force your expectations on people, other than the expectation that they will be exactly who they are. Who they are is not what they say or what you have come to expect, it is who they reveal themselves to be. Either you accept them as they are, or you move on without them.
Grant your partner agency. This means you are committing to hear them, respect them, and honor their wishes whenever possible.
11. Let the wrong ones go
Know your worth! When you give your time to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your heart you will never get back.
All failed relationships hurt but losing someone who doesn’t appreciate and respect you is again, not a loss.
Some people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something. They come and they go and they make a difference.
It’s perfectly okay that they’re not in your life anymore. You now have more time to focus on the relationships that truly matter.
Remember, even the healthiest relationships have flaws. Accept the fact that there will always be difficulties present, but you can still focus on the good.
Instead of constantly looking for signs of what is failing in your relationship, what you need to do is look for signs of what is working, and then use this as a solid foundation to build upon.
I hope this article inspires you to truly love more and be happy in love.
The floor is all yours now.
Which of these simple things for a happy relationship do you sometimes struggle to remember? What else would you add to the list? Please leave me a comment below and share your thoughts.