I once dated a guy who I thought was the greatest guy I’d ever met. He was chivalrous, passionate and ambitious. He cooked amazing meals, was a total family man and seemed to be totally crazy about me. He brought me a rose and asked me to be his girlfriend, a “rose!” I thought perhaps I’d marry him. He was all the things my exes weren’t, so he must be great!
Then I met his friends.
Did we sit down to play Cards Against Humanity, a fun game right? Well, they managed to make it the most stressful game I’ve ever played. Every card I chose I was criticized for picking because “how could I possibly find that funny?” I experienced intense anxiety the entire time I spent with them. I couldn’t be myself, and at the time I couldn’t figure out why. I noticed that when my partner was with his friends he turned into a different version of himself I hadn’t seen before. Competitive. Conceited. But his friends hadn’t been mean to me, they didn’t go out of their way to be friendly either. Perhaps I was judging too soon…
A couple of weeks later he told me a story of how he and these friends thought it was so funny that they completely disrespected a “friend” in their group. He’d told me they liked to make fun of him because even though he hangs out with them, no one really liked him. This guy chose to be a DD for them one night so they could go out drinking. He gave them one request: that they don’t open alcohol in the vehicle while he was driving.
My (ex) boyfriend and his friends thought it would be hilarious to throw a beer can at his windshield and start drinking the 2/6 they’d brought. In the car. While he was driving. He asked my (ex) boyfriend to get out, so all of the “group” got out of the car and left this guy by himself.
My (ex) boyfriend laughed in tears as he told me this story.
What kind of person are they?
Which version should you believe?
Meet their friends.
