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Thursday, March 28, 2024

How Do You Know If a Couple Is Happy?

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I have seen some couples who fight like they want to kill. They fight with passion.

Unbridled and untamed words fly from their mouths.

They trade abuses for abuses, accusations for accusations, claims for claims. They do this so incredibly well. Crafty and smooth. Ferociously skillful.

Any man in his right mind would think the relationship is going for a toss. A certain wreck.

The conversations get intense with time and the brittle filters they have for their words fade with time and respect goes downhill. Quickly so.

The blood boils. The eyes shimmer with anger. The veins pop out.

Just when you and I would think that the boat is bound to be blown away to smithereens, something happens.

The sun goes down. Their spirits go up.

They sleep in peace, cuddled and comfortably naked. One soul finds serenity in the stillness of the other’s mighty snore.

What you see is the battle. The noise. The distortion and the dust. What you fail to see is this:

In the due course of the battle, the arguments, and the relentless exchange of words, one of them starts accepting the other.

Maybe, he is right. I have never been in his shoes. I guess I am just being judgmental. I should stop being selfish and ego-centric. Let me just stop.

During the heat of the battle, as arrows pour down, one of them chooses to slow down and be patient.

Alright, let me breathe and watch. Let her say whatever she wants. Let me just listen and not react. I know when to talk about this case. Now is not the time. Let me just listen. She is, after all, my girl.

Just when you think the couple is headed for a bitter separation, one of them chooses to realize that both of them seek one aspect: harmony.

Wait a minute. Who am I fighting? He is mine. My husband. My boyfriend. My partner. Are we not in the same boat? Hell, I know, when the dust settles, he will seek my face. Let him win this time. I will conquer him tonight. Relax.

When you are concerned about the abuses and accusations, one of them chooses to focus on the person and not the action.

I just called him a dick because he behaved badly. But deep inside, I know him. I know him better than I know what he does now. He is mine.

When you are plotting the remainder of their story, one of them chooses to resolve the conflict.

Okay…ok…I know the issue is important and needs my attention. But, what do I do to solve this? Should I give up? Should I suggest away? Should I just hug him?

One of the souls goes cranky and mindless and the other takes the hits.

One hit and the other takes the hits. And stitches the wounds.

Through the broken pieces of their relationship, light shines through.

They are vulnerable. Beautifully vulnerable.

They evolve. With each flaw. Each punch. Each argument. The square their wings and fly above as you stand clueless to what happened.

When couples argue, what you hear is the noise.

You would never hear the music that plays along. The harmony.

The harmony their love makes.

The beauty of a couple in love—one hurts and the other cures. With kisses of love.

You and I will never know.

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