Step 2: Take Action
Once you’ve processed what you’re feeling, you can decide if you need to express your emotion. Sometimes it’s enough to just realize how you feel, but other times you’ll want to do something to feel better.
- Think about the best way to express your emotion. Is this a time when you need to gently confront someone else? Talk over what you’re feeling with a friend? Or work off the feeling by going for a run?
For example:
It won’t solve anything to show my anger to Ian — it may even make him feel more superior! But my feelings tell me that I need to avoid getting in another situation where he takes control over a project.
I’ll hold my head high around my ex, then I’ll put on some sad songs and have a good cry in my room to help me release my feelings and eventually let go.
My fear of being around those bullies is a sign that they have gone too far. Perhaps I should talk about what’s going on with a school counselor. - Learn how to change your mood. At a certain point, you’ll want to shift from a negative mood into a positive one. Otherwise your thinking may get stuck on how bad things are, and that can drag you down into feeling worse. Try doing things that make you happy, even if you don’t feel like it at the time. For example, you might not be in the mood to go out after a breakup, but going for a walk or watching a funny movie with friends can lift you out of that negative space.
- Build positive emotions. Positive feelings create a sense of happiness and well being. Make it a habit to notice and focus on what’s good in your life — even the little things, like the praise your dad gave you for fixing his bookshelves or how great the salad you made for lunch tastes. Noticing the good things even when you’re feeling bad can help you shift the emotional balance from negative to positive.
- Seek support. Talk about how you’re feeling with a parent, trusted adult, or a friend. They can help you explore your emotions and give you a fresh way of thinking about things. And nothing helps you feel more understood and cared for than the support of someone who loves you for who you are.
- Exercise. Physical activity helps the brain produce natural chemicals that promote a positive mood. Exercise also can release stress buildup and help you from staying stuck on negative feelings.
Step 3: Get Help With Difficult Emotions
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can’t shake a tough emotion. If you find yourself stuck in feelings of sadness or worry for more than a couple of weeks, or if you feel so upset that you think you might hurt yourself or other people, you may need extra help.
Talk to a school counselor, parent, trusted adult, or therapist. Counselors and therapists are trained to teach people how to break out of negative emotions. They can provide lots of tips and ideas that will help you feel better.
