Toxic Traits — when did that term even start cropping up in popular culture? It sounds like the qualities the Joker had after his unfortunate dunk in the acid vat episode. Huh, maybe that’s where the idea comes from. Have we been talking about the Joker this entire time? I want to hope so.
Like the Joker, I’ve got some emotional baggage I need to work on. Toxic Traits if you will. As I get older, I can see myself becoming more inward in self-exploration. When I feel angry or sad, I find comfort in trying to uncover the core reasons for these feelings — man, getting old, has endless upsides!
It wasn’t until a few years ago that I discovered how much accountability or lack thereof played a role in my life. My husband and I were in our second year of owning a small sandwich shop, and shit was starting to hit the fan. With a not so great economy, lack of start-up funds, and a dwindling bank account, we were getting the real idea of what it meant to be struggling business owners.
Throughout our entrepreneurial journey so far, I’d be quick to take the credit when things were going well. What? We had a busy day at the shop? Probably my impeccable social media advertising. A customer complimented me on the cream puffs? Why thank you, my good man, we make them right here in-house. In truth, my husband made them right here in-house because choux paste wasn’t and never would be a friend to me.
However, now that times were getting a bit more complicated, I found myself placing blame on pretty much everything. It’s these damn box stores taking our business. There’s no good staff to hire, and that’s making us run ourselves ragged.
Once, a customer returned a puff pastry tart because he found a hair in the whipped cream. Gross, I know. And no word of a lie, I took the plate and turned around to scold whatever idiotic staff member was so stupid as not to wear a hairnet while prepping — Oh wait, that dumb staff member was me. I couldn’t blame this on anyone else; I was only one working that day.
It is hard to take accountability for our shortcomings. In our mind’s eye, we want to be the best and never admit that we have done anything wrong, ever. The thing is, once we have taken responsibility and worked to make things right, we can still feel that rush of accomplishment. Perhaps even more so, because we went the extra mile to rectify the situation.
So how do we take accountability?
Admitting you are human
I hate to admit that I’m human. I want to be seen as some crazy cool extra-terrestrial spacewoman who adventures to faraway solar systems and fights massive worm monsters. Alas, that is not the case (fingers crossed for one day, though!).
So we are all human. We make mistakes. As long as we’re willing to work hard to fix those mistakes, there is no shame in admitting human error. It would be weird if you lived your entire life without making a few whoopsies. Like, how boring would that be?
Don’t wait to learn about your mistake from others
Sometimes when in a hurry, I will totally half-ass something. It’s not cool, I know. But I do it anyway. Then almost religiously, my husband or co-worker or someone will address me asking about the half-assed thing.
“Um, Lindsay, did you just stash 30 lace table clothes in the poly table clothes section?” A co-worker at my event rental warehouse job might ask. My face will turn red, and I will realize that I’m busted. But wait! I could blame it on another employee, thus allowing me off the hook Scott free.
No. That was the old Lindsay. The unaccountable Lindsay. If only I had done my job correctly in the first place, this would have never happened.
When it comes to daily life — you’re probably not dealing with a conspiracy
So I see this trend evolve as social media, and the spreading of internet information grows. People have decided that they do not have to be accountable for their actions because, as that one meme they read on their second cousin’s Facebook page told them, it’s all a conspiracy anyways.
Take mask-wearing. There is literally a global pandemic happening. Doctors and health professionals everywhere are pleading with the public to take precautions. Yet some asshole decided to make up a conspiracy theory about masks creating low oxygen levels and boom now people are using this as a reason not to wear them.
We need to be accountable for our actions.
We are responsible for each other. If you can sleep well at night knowing that you might have passed the virus on to a sweet old granny at the park yesterday and now her two grandchildren will be left without a grandmother, okay. I commend you for your impeccable cold-heartedness.
However, if that idea leaves you with even the slightest inkling of guilt, then be accountable for your actions. Make the right choice and stop using Facebook memes as a source of information.
Accountability is something that is so overlooked in today’s world. It seems there is always someone down the ladder that we can pass the buck off onto. Instead of refusing accountability for our actions, why not be brave and accept the effects of our decisions.
The sooner we admit accountability, the sooner we can begin to rectify, rebuild and grow as individuals.