Amicable splits do exist, but those aren’t the breakup arcs that stick with you, right? If your relationship is waning to a peaceful and respectful end, chances are you and your ex-partner have just come to the earnest realization you’re better off as friends. You might not be hanging out at your favorite bar together every week or trading memes, but you two are cool. You have closure — you’ve shut that chapter of your life. It’s the tumultuous breakups that haunt us. These splits and relationship behaviors that led to make up our all-time worst stories about exes.
Some of the worst ex-related stories are about the breakup aftermath. Think the pettiness around giving clothes/jewelry/music back to an ex, or the aftershocks of being cheated on or unceremoniously kicked to the curb. Other times, the most treacherous memories of an ex are the intense breakup conversations themselves. For example, the sting of getting broken up with via text while you’re in the hospital with food poisoning or a severe asthma attack. Or on your birthday.
And finally, some of the most chilling ex memories are the low-blows they took before you two officially called it quits. They’re the ones that make breaking up feel like the absolute best decision. Here are 11 stories about exes and what they said that still linger with people to this day.
The reminder your ex was keeping you down
I was in a bad relationship and really depressed, and had a hard time all through the relationship. And when I left her to focus on myself, I was like, ‘I’m so depressed and I need to be alone.’ And she reacted really badly and manipulatively, and literally I said, ‘Don’t you want me to get better?’
She said ‘I knew that if you did, you would leave.’
— Hannah, 23
Your ex doubling down on patriarchal values
‘You’re a woman, you lose your value as you get older. I’m a man, it increases.’ We weren’t even fighting, he just said that. I’m 28.
I’d always been afraid of that and it was like I was stabbed in the heart. I know it’s technically true for women, but hearing it from someone I thought loved me… horrible. Anyway, ended up not being true: I got a writing journalism job and won an award/money for a dope poem I wrote last month. Still am 28. My future is looking bright.
Your ex using religion to be petty
When I broke up with my high-school boyfriend, that b*tch’s last words to me were, ‘See you in heaven.’
— McKenna, 23
Your ex leading you on for years
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‘I’m sorry; I could never fall in love with you.’ At the end of a 3 year relationship. Boy, that cut deep.
Your ex making you paranoid
‘You don’t understand how your friends see you.’ God, that f*cked with my head for a while.
Your ex throwing cheap shots
‘I’m going to piss on your dad’s grave.’ Ugh…. disgusting human being that boy was.
Your ex downplaying serious mental health concerns
I remember one ex who told me, while I was suffering from severe suicidal tendencies, that all I needed to do was ‘love myself and everything will get better.’ He stopped loving me two weeks later. Another ex constantly promised me the world and told me how much he cared — only to stand me up or leave me alone crying. And most hurtful of all, I was dying — literally dying from an autoimmune disease flare up — and my ex said, ‘Don’t worry. You’ll be aight.’
Of course I acknowledge my own stupidity in choosing men like this, but I also recognize how f*cking terrible they were. And even though I’m at a better place, looking back on those memories constantly hurts me. I’ve healed but could never forget, and it has resulted in me living a very self-centered life — which I most absolutely adore.
They taught me a lot about my own flaws and shortcomings, but also how important it is to not accept the first person who says, ‘I love you.’ But after coming from a broken and abusive home, I didn’t know that until much later in my adulthood.
– Nikky, 25
Your ex preying on your insecurities
‘I mean, of course, it’s you. The it’s-not-you-it’s-me is bullshit in 99% of cases.’ That guy made me so insecure I can barely look people in the eye now.
Your ex being straight-up abusive
The reason I broke up with my ex was [him saying] the phrase, ‘Don’t ever tell me you won’t get engaged to me again,’ during our last fight. IDK what it was, but it finally snapped me out of my codependent dysfunction. I saw him for what he was: a bully and a tyrant.
— Nat, 23
Your ex throwing your discomfort in your face
‘I wish I cheated on you when I had the chance’ — during an argument over this very flirtatious girl who I was very uncomfortable with.
I’m not usually the jealous type, so when I do get jealous, it usually means something’s not right. I felt like he was flirting back with her — over the top, made having a girlfriend seem like it was not a big deal, etc. And we had a few talks about it before, but he always deflected.
It made me incredibly insecure, unfortunately, and the relationship didn’t last.
Your ex lying and then using the lies to hurt you
“Yeah, well, you know that girl that I said nothing happened with? We have a 2-year-old daughter together.’ We were together eight years, from being like 12/13. I had numerous reasons to believe he had cheated numerous times. He always knew he had a hold on me and I wouldn’t leave. (Looking back, I was afraid nobody else would want me.) He fathered a child with another woman and amazingly managed to hide this from everyone. His parents didn’t even know.
That admission ended it. I told him to go be a father and [that] his daughter she should be the only girl in his life.
— darkerthanmysoul on Reddit
While dwelling on your worst ex memories of all time isn’t healthy, you can use those moments as a reminder. This is why this person is your ex and with good reason! Yes, it’s OK to be mad that your ex was a bad partner. But moving on from your ex completely — not just the romantic/sexual feelings, but the anger and hurt, too — will be the best medicine to soothe that ache.
