Perhaps almost as bad a going through a divorce yourself is watching someone you love go through one. Whether it’s a parent, a son, a daughter, or a close relative or friend, seeing someone in that kind of pain can cause you anxiety and make you feel helpless and frustrated.
While it’s true that the person going through a divorce has to help himself/herself, there are some things that you can do and say that will support your loved one’s healing process.
Here are 10 ways you can help someone going through a divorce:
1. Don’t try to give advice. I can’t count the number of never-divorced people who tried to give me divorce advice several years ago. It was infuriating at the time, but now, looking back, I truly believe they meant everything they said for my best interest. Still, to tell a divorced person what they should be doing/thinking is absolutely ridiculous. Examples: Don’t date right now. You need to be by yourself. You need time to heal. If I were divorced, I would never, ever get married again. Stuff like that.
2. Invite him/her to have coffee or a beer or go for a walk or a jog. Newly separated people are lonely people. They are sort of lost, in a daze, perhaps. They need interaction with friends. Even a half hour a day is helpful.
3. Hug him/her. People going through a divorce need to be touched physically. Yes, men too. Think about how powerful a hug really is. You are embracing someone who really, really needs love.
