Normally, very few people, if any, want to whip up a storm with Miguna Miguna on Twitter, on whatever topic, but it appears that even the indefatigable village bull sometimes meets its match – this time, in the form of Dr Ekuru Aukot, a renowned legal scholar and constitutionalist.
Legal bullets started flying around Twitter soon after Dr Aukot shared an old video of then-dissident Koigi Wamwere getting sentenced by a court during the Moi era.
In his tweet, Aukot alluded that Kenyans were slowly sliding back to the dark, old days.
Ever ready to throw a couple of salvos, Miguna jumped onto the tweet, penning a lengthy diatribe which started, “Mr Aukot: I never met you at Nyayo House Torture Chambers where my comrades and I were being tortured in 1987. Perhaps you were still in diapers. That’s OK.”
“But my comrades who were at Kamiti, Manyani and other facilities of repression have not reported to me that they saw you, either.”
Angered by the seemingly unwarranted attack, Dr Aukot fired back, writing, “#KOT need to know what idiots like @MigunaMiguna who is fake. He obtained Kenyan citizenship illegally because he was then @RailaOdinga’s advisor on matters constitutional, which he has no expertise on!”
“He is a “running down” lawyer in Toronto. Respect your refugee status boss,” he added.
After that, things appeared to go spectacularly – and tastefully, downhill.
Miguna took time to remind Aukot that, besides being a Kenyan citizen, he had represented ‘thousands of refugees from all over the world’, adding, “Do you specialize in representing thieves and plunderers? Or you survive on political conman ship? Focus on the issues and questions posed. Don’t digress to irrelevant verbiage!”
And then the stage appeared to have been properly set for what has now morphed into a bare-knuckle legal haemorrhage.
After they both checked each other on past legal battles they’ve engaged in, Dr Aukot doused the fire, tweeting, “And why did you beg me to represent you if I wasn’t a lawyer, as you pathetically claim? You need to check into a mental asylum bwana MM!”
At this point, as anyone would guess, Miguna was now having none of it as he furiously tweeted, “Publish any rulings, orders or judgments you obtained in my favour if you represented me. Only quacks speak about discussions they had or did not have with a potential client!”
Miguna, ever the man with a thousand things to say, went on, “You are a crook. You lack integrity. You are also a thief who was blacklisted by the Western donors after you stole millions and used the money to buy a house in Lavington!”
At this point, the tea was getting way too hot and you’d be excused to ask for some ice cubes.
After Miguna claimed to have ‘saved’ Aukot in some legal battles, Aukot simply charged, “How can a mad man, drowning on his own filth and life failure, save anyone?”
Now, calling Miguna names is one thing but calling him a madman is akin to threatening national security.
“Debate me with facts, evidence, law and logic. Kenyans are waiting to see if you wasted those scholarships that were given to you, not because you have ever had intellectual rigour, but because you were a pastoralist!” Miguna roared.
At this point, all hell seemed to have broken loose and there was nothing either side would say, that would top anything they had already said. But in battles, the swords swing on.
“I taught you law, Miguna. You were desperate to be admitted to Kenya School of Law because you weren’t qualified. You asked for my help. I assisted. That’s why today you claim to be an “advocate of the High Court of Kenya!” Aukot charged adding “You have never represented anyone. Not even a bicycle accident claim in the lowest of courts!”
As it all went on, hundreds of Kenyans on Twitter picked sides, each egging on either protagonist, asking them to ‘malisa yeye’ expeditiously.
