Ever since I was young, I’ve disliked my thighs. How they touch, how they rub together, how they balloon out when I sit down. No matter my size, I’ve always felt like they were too big.
I longingly stared at girls with thinner legs and even engaged in disordered eating in hopes of having thighs more like theirs.
But contrary to popular belief, weight loss cannot cure bad body image.
The reason why is due to a variety of factors, in which the main two I understand are these:
First, “fat” is not a feeling. When you’re “feeling fat,” ask yourself what you’re really feeling. Are you feeling bloated, insecure, unloved? Are you feeling out of control, inadequate, triggered? These feelings can manifest as insecurities about our bodies; our body image can change as our emotions change.
Second, the weight you lose will never be enough. You’ll want to lose more and more weight. You’ll find new parts of your body to hate. You’ll struggle to maintain that weight loss since 97 percent of dieters regain the weight they lost plus more.
However, you can still work to improve your body image. You can ask yourself these questions or engage in the following suggestions.
Throw away or have someone hide your scale.
Your life is worth more than a number. In addition, focusing on a number can worsen your body image and mood as well as distort your perception of health. By throwing away your scale, you can take away the temptation of letting your live revolve around a number that means very little and will fluctuate naturally.
Remove or turn around full-body mirrors.
Don’t even give yourself a way to find something “wrong” with your body. Wear clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable. Know your value doesn’t come from your appearance; go out and live your life fully.
Think about what you appreciate about your body specifically.
We all have different abilities, so remembering to appreciate what your body can do without comparing it to others can be helpful. Does your body allow you to play games with friends? Eat good foods? Dance? Heal your wounds? Bodies weren’t created to look good — they were created to serve us functionally and as a house for our minds and souls.
Follow social media accounts that make you feel good about your body, and vice versa.
Social media accounts that center around dieting, fitness, “clean eating,” thinness and weight may not be the most helpful to follow. Instead, follow accounts that center around intersectional body positivity and having a healthy relationship with food. Some examples are Your Fat Friend, Jennifer Rollin, and Christy Harrison.
Don’t engage in or be around others who engage in “fat talk,” “muscle talk” or “diet talk.”
Negative talk about our own or other people’s bodies isn’t helpful. No more “I’m too fat to wear these jeans” or “He’s too scrawny.” No more “I’m so good today; I ate a salad” or “I’ll have to exercise for hours to work that off.” If you find that your friends or family are talking in these harmful ways, you can say “I don’t find this conversation to be helpful” and change the subject.
Try to think of your body in a neutral way rather than a positive or negative way.
If body positivity isn’t your thing, that’s cool! Try body neutrality by going about your day without focusing so much on your body and food. By seeing your body as just something that exists or something that helps you in a certain way, you can take away judgments pertaining to its appearance.
Distract yourself by doing activities you enjoy or find relaxing.
Sometimes, we just need to get through the moment or the day, and distractions can help. You could watch your favorite TV show, read in the bath, or message a friend. You could play a game on your phone, paint or do a crossword puzzle. Anything that will make you feel good or make your brain busy.
Affirm yourself.
Remind yourself that you have a lot of amazing qualities regardless of how your body looks. Remind yourself you are loved, cherished and inherently worthy. Remind yourself of your strengths and the good you do.
Work on your relationship with yourself, your life, your body, and food.
By working on how you feel about yourself and coping with your emotions, you can start to feel more positively about yourself and in turn, about your body. You’ll find ways to handle those “I feel fat” moments in more effective ways. Work with a therapist if you’re able, but if not, try out these activities from the National Eating Disorders Association.
Body image isn’t something that can be improved overnight, nor will your journey with it be linear. However, making changes such as those above can change the way you see and interact with your body.
Be patient and compassionate with yourself, and know that weight loss isn’t the answer.