I am in a newish and fantastic relationship with a man who gets me and makes me feel loved every day. He is not the wine & dines, send flowers, buy gifts kind of guy. He is a man who pays attention and says and does the simplest things which make my heart melt.
He is supportive. When I am stressed out, he notices and hugs me and says, “I got you, you’re not alone”. The stress disappears and is replaced with a warm rush of yummy feelings. He often asks, “How can I help?” Usually, he can’t, but his asking is such a gift.
Consistent
He is consistent. We have created rituals that anchor our relationship in the midst of chaotic work and family demands. Our coffee time and Friday Nights on the couch are sacred. We honor and look forward to our regular check-ins via text or phone every day. The predictability makes me feel so close to him even when he is halfway around the world.
Empathetic
He is empathetic. Often I share events that happened or a new idea I am noodling. He listens and always tries to understand. Even when I am having trouble identifying my feelings, he reflects my words so well that I gain clarity from his non-judgmental way of expressing himself. Sometimes I realize my timing isn’t great, I pause and say, “we can talk about this later”. In those instances, he always says, “I can tell this is important to you” and either says “let’s talk about this now” or sets a time to discuss later. The cool thing is, he remembers and brings it up later.
Celebrates
He celebrates me. He is the president of my fan club and I feel it every day. His specific words of encouragement fill me up and my cup runneth over. He knows my love languages and gives me daily doses of what I need. His daily words of affirmation and physical touch help me to be the best version of myself. Sometimes it is as simple as a hand on my shoulder with “I think you are amazing” or “nice ass” it is the how and when that hits the mark every time.
I turn to him for reality-checks, advice, laughter, stillness, and excitement.
It is unusual for me to just know that I am loved. It is a new experience absent of the wondering, stress, and worry that I have historically experienced.
I’d like to think that it is fate or God’s plan and maybe that is part of it, but I believe that it is a choice he and I make every day.
We make each other a priority, we make time for each other and we give each other space.
